I sat across from him over dinner checking off all the boxes on my unofficial mental checklist. I never meet up with a guy with this checklist in my mind, but the more he spoke, the more he seemed like everything that could be on my list. I asked myself, “Is this a date, or a dinner being shared by two people who have a mutual acquaintance?”
I realized my left leg was touching his right leg. I was feeling comfortable with him – smiling, laughing, flirting and opening myself up to conversation topics I like to keep general. I didn’t know what was going on between us, but I knew what I wanted it to be.
His smile, his questions, the sincerity towards the waitress and the attentiveness to me were all alluring. I swooned for whatever was happening between us.
The bill came, and he immediately went to pay for it. It was officially a date, as I offered to pay my part, but we agreed I could handle whatever we did next.
With a coffee in his hands and a latte in mine, we walked through a field and curiosity filled me as he talked about the history of the Parthenon ahead. I hoped this could be the start of something good.
We sat down, talked more and looked around at the people passing every few minutes. A silence came. We looked at each other, and he kissed me, which automatically caused me to smile my shy smile.
We moved on to walk around the small pond nearby and held hands. Suddenly he pulled me in for a kiss and picked me up. Was this real life or a perfect fantasy?
A month later I can say it feels like a distant dream. A friend once told me years ago, if he’s perfect for you, then he’s perfect for someone else too. I’m left questioning is perfect overrated, and if I shouldn’t have romanticized the whole evening as much.
It’s easy to become jaded and hardened, but hope still breaths through me. Even when your mind knows you should give up, your heart knows the truth – hope goes away last.