Your Dating Guide for 2024, According to a Certified Coach

Dating towards a relationship has numerous factors for you and the other person, including attitude, chemistry, compatibility, and effort. This year I’ve been seeing a hopeful energy from singles as they feel optimistic, look for novelty, and break free of old patterns. With In And Out Lists having more than 11M views on TikTok, I curated what I believe are some of the top dating trends that are in and out for 2024 — along with tips to help you have a happy, fun, and productive dating life.

What’s IN

• Good Dating Hygiene – People are feeling more open than ever to where they might find love, and with this, don’t just use an all-in-one approach. For the best results, you have to have good dating hygiene with a mix of different tools and approaches, similar to how you use different skincare products during summer and winter. To me, dating apps are your body wash — you’re going to use them consistently as they’re right at your fingertips. On top of dating apps, this year there is a “let’s try it” mentality for meeting new people – from going to new neighborhood spots and different events where singles will be to being more vocal about asking your friends to introduce you to someone.
  • Tip No. 1 – Be engaging. No matter if you’re in a group setting or talking to someone one-on-one, you want to be an interesting person to talk to. If you have unique interests or perspectives, lean into the conversation by being unapologetically you and don’t fade into the background.
  • Tip No. 2 – Be social in person and then keep an eye out for people on dating apps. You never know when someone you saw in a coffee shop or met at a friend’s party might be your next match on an app, but you’ll have the advantage of saying, “Didn’t I see you at ___?” That’s an instant connection. 
• Activity First Dates – One of my favorite lines from psychotherapist Esther Perel — who focuses on human relationships — is that on dates you should “walk, play or be in motion.” As more people prefer sober dates or go through dry periods like Dry January or Sober October, daters are embracing more activity-based dates as they allow your personalities to shine, without being under any influences. Additionally, it’s more memorable and gets you both to open up in a way that dinner or drinks won’t.
  • Tip No. 3 – Keep a list of potential activities on your phone. When you schedule a date that piques your interests, you’re more excited about the date, and you’re more likely to enjoy getting to know the other person. 
  • Tip No. 4 – Don’t be afraid to offer an alternative date idea. If someone mentions getting drinks, you can reply: “Let’s definitely meet up this weekend. I’ve really wanted to go to [insert activity] if you’re open to going there. I hear (it’s a lot of fun/really interesting)!” 
• Aligning on Values Early – Dating in 2024 is going to be tricky to navigate as the cost of living has been high, major elections are happening, and there are numerous geopolitical situations. It’s going to be a loud year, so people will talk with their dates about tough and sensitive topics early on and ask themselves if this is someone they really want to spend their free time with.
  • Tip No. 5 – Be patient while having productive conversations with someone you’re newly dating. A hallmark of long-term relationships is healthy conflict, according to relationship researchers, Drs. John and Julie Gottman; come to understand your date’s values and rationale as you get to know them so you can see if y’all are deeply aligned, even when it may not seem so on the surface. 
• Thoughtful Gestures – Dating requires consistent moments of vulnerability where you show up for each other and express affection. It’s the people who are leaning into intentional acts of support and connection that are standing out in dating these days.
  • Tip No. 6 – As you go past the second date with someone, pull out the special touches that show your interest in building the connection. From sending articles and videos about a topic they like and picking up flowers to making a homemade meal or dropping off their favorite snacks, considerate people are going to win hearts. 

What’s OUT

• Revisiting Old Romances – Often you might be nostalgic about making it work with someone you dated previously; however, this can leave you stuck in the past and unable to build a connection with someone new. Second chances, third chances, and dating old flames are out. 
  • Tip No. 1 – Mute or hide their social posts on social media. Seeing someone’s content passively keeps them on your mind. Additionally, you don’t want to be tempted to reach out in a moment of nostalgia, even if it’s “just” hitting the heart button on their Instagram Story. Distance and space are healthy for moving on.
  • Tip No. 2 – Keep boundaries in place. If they still reach out, be clear about what you are and aren’t comfortable with. You can say, “Hey, I really need space right now, and I’ll reach out if I feel like I’m in a place to build a friendship with you.” 
• Social Media Creeping – With Facebook and Instagram, people used to share more daily life updates. However, people are opting for less personal daily content and more photo “dumps” where you get a collection of photos and life updates at one time. In terms of dating, there is less to follow with crushes. It’s not even that people are past social media creeping; it’s that people don’t really have the opportunity like they used to because the updates are old.
  • Tip No. 3 – Focus on getting to know someone directly through calls, text and voice notes. Avoid creating intimacy with their digital persona, because it’s not the complete, authentic person with beautiful nuances about them.  

• Being Delulu – In 2023, people loved to talk on TikTok about being delulu, aka delusional, and creating fantasies about their love life. In 2024, people are ready to embrace the reality of the ups and downs in dating. After all, Tummy Hurts by Renee Rapp keeps going viral on TikTok for a reason. In 2024, we’re being aware of how we feel, how others make us feel, and what we want. Additionally, current events will keep you grounded in reality too.
  • Tip No. 4 – Be clear about what you want your dating life to feel like for you. We often focus on what we want, like a checklist, but ground yourself in what romance and love should feel like for you. 
• Relationship Launches – Everywhere you turned in 2023, there seemed to be a breakup. In this social media age, where we’ve historically made a show of starting a new relationship and hitting milestones, this year, we’re going to think twice about hard or even soft launches on social media. The people we date will just be there in the background – maybe you’ve been dating for 5 minutes, and maybe you’ve been dating for 5 years. Who cares!
  • Tip No. 5 – Focus on your dating life behind the camera. Sometimes you might feel pressure from friends, family, or the person you’re seeing to post them on social media. Be reassuring off the Internet so that there is no need to be reassuring on the Internet. [But if you constantly share other parts of your social life online, there might be something to dig into around why you don’t want to share this part of your life… as long as you know the truth…]

Want to put you create your dating action plan? I’d love to talk with you!