Let’s talk masturbation (+ shopping for products)

I went to an adult novelty store for the first time while living in Atlanta and for the second time in New York, but I didn’t buy anything either time. I walked around and tried to take everything in by simply looking around; however, it’s difficult to figure out what you’re looking at, what product does what and why people choose one product over another product.

My friends with TENGA invited me to the Sexual Health Expo (#SHEexpo) in Brooklyn for a chance to learn more about sexual health/self-care along with the United State(s) of Masturbation. I had to pause when I got the invite since masturbation is something we don’t talk about publically, but this seemed like a great opportunity to break down some internal barriers.

2016-09-24_11-57-04.gifWhile attending the #SHEexpo, I had the opportunity to speak one-on-one with sex and relationship therapist Dr. Chris Donaghue about masturbation. It’s something 88% of us do, but we don’t celebrate it as a form of self-care like we would embrace someone drinking a couple of glasses of wine after a long day at work or having amazing sex. As a starting point for my self-care journey, I asked Dr. Chris about his top tips for beginners shopping for adult novelty products.

What to remember:

  • Be willing to be uncomfortable.
  • Know your personal goal when you arrive. Even if it’s not a specific type of product, figure out your personal goal.
  • Be willing to wander throughout the store, talk to employees and touch products.
    • Feeling products will help you understand their quality.
  • Always leave with something that made you feel uncomfortable but aroused.

dr-chrisWhile I had the tips for shopping on my own, Dr. Chris and the TENGA team also walked me through some of TENGA’s products for male-bodied masturbation (that are all available on Amazon.com – hello Amazon Prime).

  • Similar to a blowjob:
    • EGG Series (one-time use) – each EGG has a different sensation based on the design
      • This was my favorite product to tell my friends about later on, because of the design. Plus I think it would a fun present to give someone even for no reason. You can buy it in a six-pack similar to a carton of actual eggs!
    •  Vacuum CUP (multi-use)
  • Similar to penetration:

I was able to soak up some more of Dr. Chris’ insights on masturbation later on, and a big takeaway for me was that – if you don’t feel comfortable with your own body, then you can’t feel comfortable with a partner.

My first step? Explaining to a festival security guard what the products in my bag was.


I hope you enjoyed this post! Be bold and comment or interact with me on Twitter (@ATouchofBold) or Instagram (@ATouchofBold).

*all opinions are my own.*


Published by Jarryd

I'm Jarryd. When we add a touch of bold to our story, we transform into the person we're meant to be and open doors to opportunities.

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