Masturbating While In A Relationship

This post was created in partnership with TENGA.

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This month I’m working with my friends at TENGA to discuss how society looks at masturbation as a part of Masturbation May – a month-long celebration of masturbation for what it is: a positive and healthy sexual practice. While almost all Americans masturbate (95% of men and 81% of women), most underestimate the wide-spread nature of it, causing it to remain a taboo topic. Furthermore, we often look down upon masturbating while in a relationship, but we should be embracing self-pleasure no matter someone’s relationship status.

Here are a few reasons why:

  • iroha VibratorsMasturbating is about fostering your relationship with yourself. Similar to using Uber and still driving your car around, you can self-please by yourself while still being in a gratifying sexual relationship. Also, consider investing in a luxury reusable toy as a part of cultivating your relationship with yourself. For example, women have to sometimes take different steps than men to achieve an orgasm, and the iroha Vibrators are great for personal female exploration. They’re designed by women for women and come in five different speeds, each speed allowing you to figure out what works for you.

  • Sometimes your partner isn’t around. Your pleasure isn’t dependent on your partner’s availability. Take control of your own pleasure by exploring, relaxing and celebrating your body as needed.

  • FLIP 0 - In CaseYou can self-please with a partner; it’s not just a solo sport. There are a few toys like the high-end, reusable TENGA FLIP 0 that you can bring into the bedroom to make self-pleasing a joint activity. Toys like the FLIP 0 are intricately designed with internal details that offer you various sensations each time you use it, alone or with someone else. Plus they’re easy to wash, so it’s a nice adventure from start to finish.

  • Your relationship’s sexual dynamic will become stronger. You know how you need to be pleased, and sometimes you need to complete the job yourself. That’s okay! However, also make sure you’re teaching and directing your partner on what creates the best experience for you. Part of this learning process can be self-pleasing together. As you both open up about what personally feels best, your sexual connection will become even more satisfying.

We all have an interest in breaking down barriers around sexual taboos, and this starts with having open conversations that promote healthy sexual relationships with ourselves – and our partners – while continuing to educate each other. Discussion makes the world a better place.


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How to celebrate Masturbation May:

  • You can pledge to masturbate throughout the rest of May by signing up on dotinmay.com. TENGA will donate $1 for every person who takes the pledge and $2 for each use of the hashtag “#DoItInMay” on social media, up to $10,000, to the Sexuality Information and Education Council of the United States (SIECUS). This is an organization that advocates for the right of all people to accurate information, comprehensive education about sexuality, and the full spectrum of sexual and reproductive health services. Which is much needed in these times!
  • Everyone who takes the pledge will also receive a coupon for 10 percent off purchases made via TENGA’s e-commerce store.
  • For those based in the New York City area, comment on this blog post, tweet me at @ATouchofBold or Instagram direct message me at @ATouchofBold about Masturbation May by May 23, 2017 at 11:59 EST for a chance to win some TENGA products.

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I hope you enjoyed this post! Be bold and comment or interact with me on Twitter (@ATouchofBold) or Instagram (@ATouchofBold).

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