Something happened between us. It could be one of many things. A switch flipped internally in you that won’t let us go the next friend level. Or you did something the last time I was around you that was friend turn off. Let’s talk out both scenarios.
Am I too talkative? Too loud? Some people told me I can be intimidating. . . Like in the way I am really comfortable who I am, and it rubs a few people the wrong away. I’m told this isn’t a problem and other’s lost, but I don’t want to accept this. I want us to bond more and be good friends but something about me pushes you away. Don’t get me wrong! We are friends who have a good time and laugh together but I can see there is a wall there. How do I know? If you put up a wall or two from a young age then you’d recognize these things too. This wall I see isn’t an everyday wall. It’s only towards me. Why? I find myself to be very trustworthy and easy to bond with. I’m fiercely loyal and will be honest with you.
I’m just going to say it. I don’t care for you. I respect you and think you’re a good person. However, remember that time you made that subtle racist comment to a friend of mine, even though I had just helped you a few weeks ago? Wait. . . that wasn’t you. Remember when I was being courageous and getting that guy’s number and I felt so suave for doing that for the first time and you came up and got his number? You didn’t even really like him. I don’t like “friends” like that. Sorry. Ugh that was someone else. What about that superior attitude you always give me even though it’s unnecessary. I think we all have our strengths to where we don’t need to be threatened by others. Or when you blame me for things that aren’t my fault. Someone else too? Give me a second. . .
We could be good friends! It’s a give and take. I’m also open to random heart to hearts. Talking things out? Any day of the week! You think I don’t like you? I probably just don’t know you enough, but I rarely truly dislike people. (I easily forgive, maybe forget with a new day) I am easily annoyed every so often though.
I don’t know if we will ever go to our next friend level. I hope we do. With a bit of understanding and a pinch of patience, let’s see what time will show us.
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