Welcome to junior year – party of one! If I’ve learned anything these last two years, it’s that I’m on a journey and I’m alone in it. Not in a depressing way but as a warrior trying to find his way.
Friendships have come and gone and are in the hospital. Work skyrocketed in constantly surprising ways. Crushes have come and lingered and gone but I’m still standing. I got a second chance to work on a friendship with a past roommate. I was able to more honest with myself.
After my crushes blog post, I was definitely left bruised, but in the positive way like I just had surgery. Hearing what went wrong left me with a sad feeling for sure but everything felt like closure. I found peace with these guys.
By the end of summer work constantly challenged me, stressed me out but continued to reward me in magnificent ways. I built some even stronger friendships but had written off my best friend that I told things I never told anyone to. I got to know people who had supporting roles and let go of people who made me feel an extra in the movie that is their life.
Living by myself this fall felt like it would be a fresh start. I’d be able to start new with dating and forget these friendships that seemed to fail. I’d be able to be a stronger version of myself with all this extra fat cut off. But I forgot that with fall, people who haven’t been present for months reappear. I’m faced with past crushes in random places, people I don’t care to offer second chances to and friends that I really do care for, but I can’t offer myself up anymore.
The truth seeped in. Life reminded me, you’re not allowed to box away the hurt and rough of the past but have to deal with it by progressing.
So here I am. Alone in the same building I lived year, just a new room. It feels good! It feels familiar but in an empowering way. Let’s get out there and have fun. Junior is sexy. Junior year is all about remembering I am responsible for my life and the only thing I control is how I react.
This is a party of one with a guest list I choose and a theme I create. Bring it. Let’s take it on and smile while doing it.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment or follow me on Twitter @JarrydK.
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