When I’m wearing leather Forever 21 shorts with rainbow suspenders, searching for and through taxis with older white male drivers with mustaches, I’m annoyed and wondering how did I end up at this point.
One of my good friends invited a couple friends in town for her birthday party I hosted, and one of these friends lost one of my important items in a cab. This was already after he got kicked out of where we were and with me earlier feeling underappreciated by my good friend. This was the cheap icing on a bad cake that was already iced.
I remember feeling universally bonded at the end of high school and even the beginning of college with her. We’ve had the friendship where you call the other when something goes horribly wrong. This is the person you admit your thoughts and experiences to, because who else can you trust. I remember feeling that no matter how different we are, we’re linked together through time and experiences. I remember an agreement to push through any problems.
However, no one tells you that college will test your abilities to be in friendship. It will test what kind of friend you are, and what you expect from other friends. It will test how you feel about getting an apology text almost two days after an incident happens, or if you’ll keep reaching out to that old friend who never initiates communication with you.
People you are/were proud to call your friend let you down. Sometimes they let you down about the same things, over and over.
What they should tell you about college friendships is – there might be a night you abandon your apartment to sleep at your college best friend’s apartment while wondering what to do about that old friendship. You’ll lie in the dark on your college best friend’s couch and wonder if you can really be best friends with your old friend. Next you’ll remember, friendships aren’t all bad, because that friend’s couch you’re sleeping on represents dependable friends.
You’ll realize that sometimes friendships need a break. If someone wants to be in your life as a friend, they’ll show it.
You don’t have to figure friendships out in a day. Sometimes it’ll be almost two months later and you’re respecting the fact you’re not ready to mend things and don’t know if you want to.
You’ll realize it’s the friends who show up in their pj’s — as you’re in leather Forever 21 shorts with rainbow suspenders — that you should focus on.
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- Friendship in Your 20s: The ‘Other’ Relationship. (thepureandpinkelephant.wordpress.com)
Jarryd Boyd, Life + Relationships Coach 