In my touch of bold nature I have a history of being straightforward with my romantic intentions. I love the idea of meeting someone, saying you’re interested and then going on a date. Easy as 1,2,3. Just that happened a few weeks ago.
I worked an event midsummer and met a guy named Stan (for the purpose of this post his name is Stan). He seemed lively and maybe a little sassy, but in many ways, aren’t most gay guys a little? A few weeks later I roamed Publix with a coworker for a wine night. We ran into another PR major, and he was with her. As we walk away, I turned to my coworker and said how I didn’t know what to think about him. She said, “He’s like adorable cute.” I agreed.
I Facebook messaged the fellow PR major about us catching up soon like she mentioned and ended the messaged with, “Also your friend is cute.” She replied back with “Yes, he is. He’s multi-talented too! I think you’d like him.”
We caught up the next day about PR life and summer and ended the conversation with agreeing she would flat-out tell him I want to ask him out and want his number.
A couple of days later I follow-up with her on any news, and she says, “He said he’d like to go out with you!!!” While I felt excited to be back on the horse, I knew not to let my excitement get the best of me and hold off on texting him. I don’t believe in playing games, but I also believe in not texting under the influence of high emotions to people you don’t know well.
After texting Stan the next day, we agreed to go on a date that Saturday. My friend and I had debated what I should do for the date. Fro yo makes the best date with someone you don’t know well, because it can finish over fast if needed or a relaxed environment to chat for a while. Stan and I texted over the next couple of days, and I really liked how straightforward with questions or answers he was willing would be. Things were a breath of fresh air from the talking stages people like to go through or the discomfort some people have with the word date.
I meet Stan at his place, and we walked over to the fro yo place close to him. As we get settled, I can tell at times the conversation wasn’t flowing the smoothest. But then I thought about how I had been on a fro yo date before and the conversation flowed amazingly, but look where that got me. There would be great peaks in conversation where we really related, but then the conversation would crash. You could tell we were trying to keep it from crashing, then trying to pull it back up immediately. I noticed that after he finished his fro yo, he sat back in his chair with his arms crossed – a sign of disinterest or discomfort I wondered…
Stan asked if I wanted to see where he worked on campus and a mutual friend of ours worked too. As he was around his coworkers, I noticed he was more social and lively in conversation. I thought maybe he was uncomfortable before. But he didn’t seem to be ready for the evening to finish either. Our mutual friend and Stan were talking, and he mentioned his birthday being in May. I thought, “He is a Taurus!!” I have a horrible record with guys that are astrologically a Taurus. I find them hard to read and my impatient Aries works at a different pace romantically. It explained some things to me.
My roommate needed me to come home a little while later. Stan walked me to my scooter and hugged me. He is an absolutely amazing hugger. Arms that are nice to hold you and keep hugging you.
My roommate asked how did it go, and I kept saying, “I don’t know.” I didn’t feel passion or a huge spark. And for the last three years, I’ve been all about that passionate feeling of wanting to know more and hang out more with a guy. That feeling of intrigue too. I thought maybe he was uncomfortable with it being the first date, and I found him interesting enough for a second to look for that connection. I texted him that night how I had fun.
The next day I sat at brunch with one of my good friends when he texted, “Hey! Yesterday was a lot of fun and you’re really nice but I didn’t feel a connection. I’m sorry, it was a good night, but I think we should just be friends.”
I agreed with him.
No part of me felt a twinge of sadness.
In less than one week from getting his number, we lived out our story. And that was nice. We didn’t drag things out, and were upfront.
Olivia Pope says on Scandal, “I don’t want normal and easy and simple. I want painful, difficult, devastating, life-changing, extraordinary love.”
I liked the idea of a date and being straightforward, but I also know now I want ambition and intrigue. More than anything I want to see and feel the first spark of passion from both sides.