First dates: I believe whoever initiated the first date should pay. First dates are a chance to make a great first impression, so as a part of that, paying sets the tone and your intentions. Earlier this year I went on a first date at Masa in Tallahassee, and before the check came, we already made plans to go on a second date. When I insisted on paying, he wanted to pay for the next date. Paying for dates is believing in the possibility of what can spark between y’all. Whether it was dinner or grabbing Italian ice before walking the park, I swoon when a guy pays for our date. Even if you don’t know who is initiating things, but you both like each other, pay for the date. Tell them they can pay next time. Sometimes next time doesn’t happen. But at least you were bold enough to fully put yourself out there.
We’re hanging out. I don’t know what it is. Pay for yourselves individually. If things between y’all are unclear, it’s potentially really intimidating to the other person when you pay, and they suddenly realize your intentions. Take the time to flirt more and make your intentions known. I hung out with a guy where we went to dinner and had drinks at Park Tavern. I loved his personality and saw more potential. After we got to know each other even more, I made it clear I wanted to treat him to dinner the next time we hung out. When we ate together, I didn’t feel like we had that romantic chemistry, but I still think he’s amazing, and the meal was a great investment into our friendship at the least.
Dates/Relationships: I believe this ultimately comes down to the person you’re dating. Sometimes someone is more financially stable than the other person, and that person paying is what works for the dynamic. However, it’s about balance. If one person is paying for the dates at restaurants, that can be balanced with a homemade dinner, creative picnic or elaborate movie night. Additionally, the other person can pay for drinks or dessert somewhere else following dinner. One of my lesbian friends had a girlfriend who talked to my friend about never paying for their dates. In the end, everyone wants to feel appreciated and that they aren’t caring a bulk of the weight.
I’ve paid for dates, and dates have been paid for. Be sure to at least pick a date the person will enjoy. Cause there is nothing that completely ruins a date like picking something or somewhere in which the other person is miserable.