Hope is a powerful force that pushes us or holds us back and I think we all experience both sides of hope’s spectrum. It can make us persevere when it seems everything is against us or keep us from moving on when we truly need to.
This weekend I became aware of news that made me lose hope and know that a friendship seems over, but in that same moment, i found peace. For months I hoped that with one conversation, I could fix that friendship and soon after it would seem as if time never kept going from where we last left off. The irony is I had this same feeling four years ago with another friendship. With said friendship from four years ago, deep down I never lost hope that we could reconnect and rightfully so since a little less than a year ago, we reunited but only temporarily. However I knew that if I could trust again and reconnect with this friendship from four years ago, then I could still be friends with this person I was only out of touch for a few months with. But I received this news and knew that if he didn’t share it with me then our friendship truly had experienced a break down that wouldn’t be fixed any time soon.
My point is, in getting this news, I found a peace for our friendship being what it is or isn’t, I felt a happiness nevertheless for him to reach such a momentous milestone, and I felt this gratitude for learning everything I learned from this friendship. Once again, “every experience teaches you more fully who you really are.”
No matter what I experience in a friendship past or present, a part of me still appreciates them for being there for me and allowing me into their life. I will always be there for anyone who is there for me or was there for me even if years have passed. As I said before, Im prone to moving on past the old drama and starting anew.
This weekend I also finished rereading The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood and I came to understand the characters even more. Sometimes when we lose hope, we gain peace, and when we gain peace we are able to see realistically straight into the future and what is ahead. There is a silver lining to every cloud if you are patient enough to wait for the sun to hit that cloud just right.