I’m fortunate enough to have great friends that I can reach out to when I’m happy or upset. However, sadly, I’ve lost friends through simply growing apart and through having disagreements.Over time friendships evolve and that evolution can have major points where you two grow into being stronger after a fight or misunderstanding or once the disagreement happens, the friendship reaches a rest stop. That rest stop can become the final destination or simply a place in which you two need space for a little while.
- I believe – that we don’t have to change friends, if we understand that friends change.
- I believe – that no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.
- I believe – that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
Friendships start in all types of ways. There is that person who sits next to you on the first day of class and a bond forms but then there are people who you know as a “friend” for a year and then suddenly a series of event or one special event bring y’all together. Either way, a great friendship develops and the two of you start your honeymoon phase. The honeymoon phase of friendships is when you are always having fun with this person and slowly get to know them better. I love my friendships where we both take an interest early on with each other. After seeing Blue Valentine with a friend, I really admired when she reached a point in the conversation and said, Okay I feel like I’ve talked a lot about myself but I don’t know enough about you. I believe that the more we learn early on in a friendship, the better it will be able to endure through many misunderstandings down the line.
Every friendship will reach its first and maybe last struggle. Struggles are not being there for a friend when they really needed you, saying something horrible to the other person, being honest but the other person couldn’t handle it, betrayal, or simply moving away from each other. To me, these are the rest stops of a friendship. Y’all have been driving down the road smoothly then you have to slow down when the red engine light comes on. How you two handle things with your first fight will show how things can evolve. We have to understand that people aren’t perfect and to accept them for their faults, when they aren’t harmful to themselves or you.
Understanding, acceptance, and communication I believe are the keys to friendships evolving. We are going to disagree with our friends and sometimes it will be about silly things. Our friends will anger us and sometimes make us cry but they will be there to hold us up when we don’t have the strength. The same goes for us with them. I believe – that even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you, you will find the strength to help. That sad thing about friendships is that sometimes people are only meant to be in our lives for a certain amount of time. If we fight for the friendship and use the 3 keys mentioned before, hopefully the friendship will evolve back into its honeymoon phase of fun times and learning more about each other. Friends are the gifts we give ourseves.
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Ask me anything at http://formspring.com/jarrydboyd or jarryd.boyd@yahoo.com.
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The italicized “I believe – ” statements come from the inspirational Jimmy John’s poster.
Jarryd Boyd, Life + Relationships Coach 