My phone lies by me as I wait. Will the green light blink indicating I somehow missed a call or text in the one second I took to get water? Will my desk harshly vibrate saying this is the moment I’ve been waiting for? I truly despise waiting. When I have a date or time in mind, I’m fine. However, I’m waiting with no knowledge of when something will happen, my emotions get the best of me.
Waiting is like giving up power for me . . . especially when it comes to a boy. You hope that this one boy, you had this encounter with, will pick up the phone and reach out to you. You won’t reach out to him again, because you don’t want to sabotage this new opportunity. Let’s face it, we’ve all contacted that one cutie once too many times before. This will be different though. “If you don’t want me, I don’t want you.” So we decide to put up a wall. He is dead to us . . .at least until he finally calls.
Call me. I didn’t want this commitment. One night turned into a full day and before I knew it, it was three. While your pet and I have had some fun times, I don’t like the responsibility of feeding something more times throughout the day then I feed myself. She really enjoys blueberries by the way. I learned that while I was waiting for you to text me saying you were coming back for it.
Going back? Well maybe it’s time. This city once called my name, but I didn’t know when I would go back. I fell in love with the place, kind of like how we fall for boys, who didn’t call or text us at one time, but finally do. In this moment, I wonder will visiting this city only make me realize I was being fanciful about how great it is. For the past few years I didn’t know when I would go back, but the waiting has stopped. Soon the flight attendant will tell me to please put my seat in an upright position as we begin our initial descent. When I walk these streets again, I may find out it was all chimerical, based on one encounter.
You and I were one encounter. Maybe we should leave it at that one encounter, because then I don’t have to be realistic. I get to believe you are just a nice, busy guy, and I am a nice, busy guy, who doesn’t like to wait. Waiting is being vulnerable and being vulnerable scares me. But it’s worth it if one encounter can lead to another encounter.
I hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment, follow/tweet me on Twitter @JarrydK, or ask me questions anonymously at http://formspring.com/jarrydboyd. ___________________________________________