Save Me

I don’t want to be hurt. I really don’t want to be hurt. I know no one wants to be hurt, but I really don’t want to give a guy the power to hurt me. I don’t want anyone to hurt me. It’s taken me too long to make it to this point and I don’t want to lose my strength.

At this time last year I was jaded towards the idea of love for me person. Last summer one person simply through friendship reaffirmed my hope. A prince awaits. Somewhere. One day. Me and him.

Am I capable of loving a person or addicted to the idea of loving a person?

I can’t lose myself. I’m strong, independent of others. Would falling for someone mean giving up that independence? There’s a certain trust we’re relying on in that person. A vulnerability with which I’m begging not to be abused.

I’m a weird “flirty when provoked.” Self-conscious. I get nervous. I second guess and question every moment and word.

I want it. I want it all! Throughout me I feel this desire to switch up the pace, to be fearless, to go for it all. This is my world. This is my world!

No matter what it is, what if I try and fail? What if I attempt to give a guy my heart and get to know his, but he isn’t interested. I want to aim for excellence with new projects that could be life-changing, but I don’t want to give all my passion to only fall to the ground.

Sometimes I sit in silence. I can feel the yearning flowing throughout me. The part of me that says, “You can do this! You got this!” But the other part of me says, “This is risky. The reward is supposed to be worth the risk but it’s risky.” The risk that makes my stomach churn and I subconsciously hold my breath.

Exhale. Who is going to save me but myself? Go forward.

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I hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment or follow me on Twitter @JarrydK.

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