Tears Stream

My grandmother cried as I stood in front of her. My mom smiled with happiness that I was there. I surprised them both by coming home for my uncle’s memorial and funeral. It wasn’t a financial luxury I had but I knew it would make all the difference for them.

Friday brought familiar faces back into my life that I hadn’t seen in years. I wasn’t that close with the people I was seeing but a warm feeling came to me as I saw them. I wasn’t the boy they last saw. I’m 20. The years have made all the difference.

I held my mom as she deeply mourned my uncle at his memorial. I saw her lose someone of utmost importance to her. I watched her in pain. I sat next to my grandmother at his funeral. The worst thing for a parent is to have to bury their child. It’s unnatural.

As music plays, tears stream and everyone passes my uncle’s open casket one last time at the end of the funeral, a comfort comes from seeing faces I haven’t seen in such a long time but we are all connected. I’m soothed as lightly hear people singing a hymn of “. . . Jesus. He’s Alright,” and I join in every other verse. “He’s Alright” “He’s Alright” “He’s Alright. . . ”

Mourning and peace come to us in different ways. We handle spirituality differently.

At the reception I witness smiles, laughter, eating and a slightly better mood. Family and friends reunited. I talk with cousins I don’t see often. We sit and watch our grandmother. We laugh at a comment she makes and say to each other, “That’s our grandmother!” Such a sad occasion brings us together.

When we pray, I believe what I read in “Cold Sassy Tree” is true. Prayer isn’t meant to be us asking for objects and certain outcomes, but for guidance and things such as strength, peace and comfort in difficult times. Gratitude in amazing times.

I left back to Tallahassee with a new appreciation of family.

A few days later I cry from such gratitude and realization that even though my family doesn’t have much, they will give whatever they have, even unprompted, to see me further myself in life. They love me so much and sometimes I don’t realize how much faith so many people have in me to succeed and make my dreams, and their dream of happiness for me, come true.

Blessed. Truly Blessed.

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