5 Years Out as Gay – Beyond a 17 Years Old’s Love

Five years later, I think how awed, at points disappointed and overall proud a younger Jarryd would be of what’s transpired since then. If I could tell him what I know five years later, it would be…

I Didn’t Want to Go Back to New York

Standing with my friends in Atlanta, I didn’t know what happened to the last six months of my life. It seems like I was just here, but in reality, everything had changed in these past months, which seem like longer. I looked at them contemplating never going back to New York, because my body wasContinue reading “I Didn’t Want to Go Back to New York”

I haven’t had a real relationship. That scares me.

I remember one time I sat alone with my maternal grandmother and asked her who was the great love of her life. She told me she doesn’t have one. I pressed for more information, and she explained that there were men she thought were the great loves of her life in the moment, but theyContinue reading “I haven’t had a real relationship. That scares me.”

23 in the Headlights

When we’re younger our minds start to protect us before we know how to. I mentally guarded myself from the world, even family. I needed these invisible bars around me. The world seemed scary and harsh; family felt trite; friendship felt fleeting; love difficult. Without knowing it, I needed the ability to define the world aroundContinue reading “23 in the Headlights”

Tears Start Streaming

I remember my mom dropping me off at college, eager to grasp on to any extra minute with me before this truly new chapter of my life enclosed me. Here on the last school night of my college career tears don’t fall but do come forward. Memories have been ascertained, and I’m stronger for theContinue reading “Tears Start Streaming”

Cheers to A New Story

Cheers. Cheers to the late nights dancing to the beat and offbeat with friends. Cheers to the tears shared with friends over moments we’ve grown from. Cheers to the dates we smile about and the ones we remember with dread. Cheers to the moments we wanted to quit and the successes we didn’t imagine possible.Continue reading “Cheers to A New Story”

Background Music

I remember a few years ago I was in California and while wandering Palm Springs I went into this random shop. This guy told me my master astrology reading. He said in 2013 or 2014 I would meet the love of my life and in 2017 I would start my own business. I don’t knowContinue reading “Background Music”

Three Years! My Coming Out Anniversary

This month I’ve reached my three year anniversary of being out of the closet as gay and three years feels like a truly special place personally. For the past few months the thought often toyed around my mind of how I’ve never talked to my maternal grandmother about being gay, even though I’ve had conversations withContinue reading “Three Years! My Coming Out Anniversary”

Against the Dichotomy

It’s hard to keep it all together. It’s in the times things are going well but most trying from all angles that the world pushes us for more. The things going well make you want to bask in the beauty of the fall weather, while you feel the ground pulling down into the dying leaves.Continue reading “Against the Dichotomy”