Moment of Honesty

We met at the statue. This was a long time coming. I only received his call ten minutes ago. We decided to go to Chipotle, so he could eat. I immediately thought what a mistake that was. Natalie and I once discussed how boys and Chipotle are never a good thing. He and I sat across from each other with our dinner. There was small talk. But I waited. I stared. This was his meeting. I said everything I wanted to say over a month ago. I expected him to tell me say why he called for us to meet. This was his chance to talk. I didn’t expect the honesty flowing from his mouth. I didn’t expect the apologies. I didn’t expect the openness. It felt great.

We were at a party. You could feel the tension. Was I imagining it? I know I’m the cause of the tension tonight. I decided to discuss it. I tried to put the blame on me, but he didn’t take it the right way. Maybe I overanalyze things, as he said. Maybe he downplayed things. The discussion was everywhere. I felt horrible. We were both describing different chapters and pages of a book it seemed. We were both confused. I tried to be honest, but maybe I shouldn’t have been open in this way. Maybe I needed to stop blaming myself. Being honest felt like a mistake.

They focused on the truth. One to give it and one to receive it. The first simply wanted the truth. She wanted her questions answered. But she got was poisonous words spewed at her. The second wanted to tell the truth. To be upfront and let them both start new chapters. All she saw was daggers coming at her. They weren’t the ones she expected though. Both felt a twinge of pain not from what happened, but from what was said. Accusations and twists.

We all want to tell the truth and hear the full truth when we’re talking with someone we care about. But what we can’t control is how the other person will react or what they will say. Sometimes they lift us up, and sometimes they push us down. We never know how they will make us feel when it’s over. All we can do is try to have a moment of honesty with them.

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