I just didn’t think it was going to be this hard. I simply wanted a clean break for everyone involved. I wanted things easy. When I say break I don’t mean like forget everything, forget each other. I just wanted things simpler. I guess not so emotional on my part.
And part of me questions how can anyone ever love me and understand me in a romantic way. This isn’t easy. “This is the brave and happy life” but when will the results show.
Maybe I do over think things but isn’t that better than not analyzing things enough? I would like to think that I’m prepared more.
I wanted things different. Sometimes I dream of the past. You’ll come back and we will reunite.
Or you. You will call me and we can learn to find that great place again. But then reality sinks in or the stubborn part of me gets the best of me. And I know this won’t happen.
Maybe I am repeating patterns but in new forms.
Maybe I try to cut things off as drastically as possible to keep from getting hurt.
But the truth is, the pain has to be felt.
We all have lessons to learn and I want to chalk this experience up to that.
Now let’s go to sleep. Forget these emotions. Wash that face clean.
Because everything looks better in the morning light. . .
Or at least I hope. . .
Or at least I can pretend.
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