Loyalty can be a lonely place. Loyalty to your work, and your friendships, and mainly to yourself leads to confusion. The constant struggle to do what is right towards everyone along with yourself eventually leads to choices. Choices changing the complacent present. Even though you know this choice is correct, the future looks hazy and feels misty like a fog.
I look into the future and see a well-lit place but in between where I stand and the destination is a fog. I’m moving forward, but I have a fear. I fear I’m walking onto the wrong path after being on one for so long but loyalty to myself pushes me. Change is easy when it’s starting something completely new, and you’re unattached to the past or event current, but it’s horrifying when you are leaving behind what you’re bonded to.
I pride myself on being bold with telling someone my feelings, but I sadly realize I’m quite cautious for other leaps. Caution is good but as Emily Thorne said on Revenge this week, “A careful nature doesn’t always ensure success.” I go back and forth on, “Is this smart financially? Will I be betraying people who’ve treated me so well? Should I really be putting distance between this person and me?”
I sat at an FPRA meeting and the guest speaker said to everyone, “Don’t be afraid to change lanes. . . Struggle to be independent. . . Be bold and courageous in the way you conduct your life, and people will respect you for it.”
Welcome to the fog and mist. I’m getting lost in it, and it feels so good. What was that Christopher Robin said to Pooh? “You’re braver...”
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Note from the writer:
2013 will involve some big changes to this blog and my life. While staying true to the initial vision for this blog, you will definitely see more diversity in posts. Stay tuned for an upcoming announcement!
I hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment, tweet me (@JarrydK).