About a month ago I decided I didn’t have anything to lose by putting myself out there in the social networking realm of dating. In my bold actions, I don’t have regrets. However, the time I spent getting to know one guy could’ve been spent hanging out with my friend that night.
I learned about Grindr when I first started reading the blog One Gay at a Time thanks to College Relationships. As any good PR boy/girl does, I did my research of Grindr – a gay location based dating app – after hearing numerous stories by downloading app, but not filling out the profile. I can tell you that I had past crushes who turned me down in person, then pursued me on Grindr. Can you say #awkward. But right before school was out for summer, I decided to give it a try.
For those unfamiliar with Grindr, shirtless torsos are half your view. It’s also not uncommon to have the following interaction:
“Hey” by an anonymous guy.
“Hey, how are you?” by me.
“Bored. Horny,” by an anonymous guy.
“Sorry, I can’t help you. Happy hunting!” by me. Sometimes they come back to see if you’ve changed your mind. My internal monologue is, “No, guy with no face. I haven’t changed my mind and decided to help you out with your sexual frustration. But again, happy hunting. J”
One day, one of these shirtless men chatted me but actually initiated a conversation and showed his face. YES! It’s all about the small wins. In short we agreed to meet up sometime the following week. From there, things took a turn.
I asked him if he wanted to meet up the next day. Derrick said yes, but “You know I live in Georgia.” He says he mentioned it before, but I for a fact know he didn’t and plus it’s a location based app.
The next day I inquire about us meeting that day since he was in Tally. He said we probably shouldn’t hang out, because he was a “mess” that day, but maybe we could have a “meet and greet.” I agreed to this and chose the time and let him choose the place. He chose, “Mickey ds” aka McDonald’s.
Immediately, I go into “FIX YOUR ATTITUDE JARRYD! BE POSITIVE! BE POSITIVE!” but agree to meet him there.
I’m running three minutes late when I arrive, and he is asking where I’m at. I immediately apologize and say I’m walking in. Well, it turns out he wasn’t even there yet. Derrick told me five minutes later he would be there soon.
When he walked in, I didn’t even recognize him. Between his wave cap (Google it), glasses, sweats, nice tank, and H&M jacket, I was utterly confused. I did like the jacket though. But he sat down, and we started talking.
“How was your day besides work?” – Derrick
“Well I worked all day, and there was a lot to get done.” – me
“Where do you work?” – Derrick
“At a PR agency.” – me
“Oh, so you make a lot of money.” – Derrick
“Umm, no… not really.” – me
“That means you do!” – Derrick
All his charm made me swoon, especially the lack of eye contact and texting he did on his phone. It turns out he is a department head at Walmart, and his family is originally from Georgia.
The next memorable part in conversation goes like this:
Derrick pauses and looks over at the order area. “I’m kind of hungry.”
I wasn’t going to eat here, but I’d get a milkshake or something if he ordered food. “You can grab something if you want.”
“I didn’t bring my wallet.” *I stare at him*
After a pause in conversation, I change the subject. He proceeds to ask me what I’m up to tonight, and I tell him about my plans to watch a movie with a friend. He says he doesn’t want to keep me from my plans. As he mentioned, this was just a meet and greet.
Derrick continues to tell me how he didn’t intend to be in Tallahassee today, but he stayed the night at a friend’s and didn’t leave that morning. Thus why he was wearing clothes from yesterday, and that he slept in. He also added he isn’t wearing any underwear, but it’s okay with the breeze and wind down there. “Maybe I’m telling you too much right now.” I pretended it was okay.
At the end of this meet and greet Derrick says, “Text me,” and sits there as I leave. I think the breeze and wind lost his number.
Growth and new opportunities don’t happen without a few growing pains. This was not a date. It was a meet and greet.