Tuxedo Dreams

I’m convinced that if I were straight I would’ve had the most creative ideas for asking a girl out to prom. Would I still be this creative if I was straight? The world will never know.

I didn’t think about this until a friend asked for help in asking a girl to prom. He had the overall idea of what he wanted to do, but needed help filling in the gaps. When the conversation was over, I thought about my senior year prom more. I went with a great friend, Ginny, and we looked fantastic. We took pictures, had a nice dinner with friends, went out to dinner and even went a friend’s place on the beach for like an hour after. She was a great prom date and going with a friend makes the night easier in so many ways. However, the closeted gay boy within me didn’t get his chance to dance the night away with someone special. A masquerade themes prom seems so fitting now.

Junior year of high school I was my class secretary. Being the junior year delegation meant we planned and paid for every aspect of prom. What a great learning lesson it was, but comically I considered myself a prostitute working for the pimp that was the seniors’ prom. I even stood on a corner downtown with a sign for one fundraiser. However, as prom approached, I decided to go on a trip for Junior Civitan International.  I was just starting to figure out I was gay, I loved Junior Civitan, and even though I was starting to fall in love with a guy when I decided to travel, I wasn’t going to have a date for prom. So I went to Chesterton, Indiana instead. I did promise my mom though I would go to my senior prom.

When prom came around senior year, the guy I yearned to go with a year ago wasn’t an option. But no other guy was either. I wasn’t going to come out yet. I was in the midst of a busy senior year, deciding college and prom was just a landmark event I needed to experience. Ginny looked beautiful, and I looked dapper. Food, fun and friends.

I have no regrets about how I handled my coming out and itstiming. It was just the right time for me. I do however wish the person I am now could have gone to prom with a special guy. Someone he had feelings for. Someone that even if it didn’t work out between us, he could look back and think we had a special night didn’t we?

PRIDE here does an alternative prom every year for LGBTQ to go with the person you couldn’t in high school. I’m skeptical I will meet a guy in the next two weeks who will charm me into wanting to ask him or I allure him into asking me. However, I do hope that in my two years left, I will find a nice prince charming or prince charming in training to go with.

I have no regrets, but I do have a dream of an alternate version of prom, so that I lived both experiences. I appreciate the first one for all the joy it gave me. I hope for the alternative so the gay within me back then has his chance in the spotlight.
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I hope you enjoyed this post! Feel free to comment, follow/tweet me on Twitter @JarrydK, or ask me questions anonymously at http://formspring.com/jarrydboyd. ___________________________________________

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